Category Archives: Feelings

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The Genius in Not Being Normal

“There is no great genius without some touch of madness.” - Seneca  The more normal you try to be (or the more like others you try to parrot) the less of you we will see. You move away from your personal genius when you strive to be normal, to not have to risk your neck with some dream, idea, or stroke of genius. But “normal” is depressing. Normal is the path of no resistance. Not least resistance, no resistance. Yet more and more people are looking for the supposed feel-good nature of being “normal.” We let others define what normal

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Do You Deny Yourself Joy?

My grandmother’s jewelry hangs in an organizer in my closet. I recently pulled it out from behind coats to find dust inside the pouches that neatly hold the precious metals, stones, and colors. I touched a couple of the pieces she wore often, and that most reminded me of her. My chest ached and my eyes watered at the memory, wishing it was now, and feeling sad that it could no longer be. Gladness and sadness both were present in that moment. And I’m finding that both of these feelings must be present in order to experience true joy. Unfortunately,

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What’s Really Happening When You Suffer

Written by Melanie Rogers, MMFT, LPC-MHSP Photo by Lisa Nottingham No one escapes life without suffering. Whether you would describe your suffering as abandonment, rejection, grief, betrayal, or abuse, all suffering can leave us with deep wounds and name us as Forgotten, Unlovable, Damaged, and Disposable. However, suffering also seems to be a necessary passage through which a great many beautiful, rich, and captivating souls have passed. Though it can be a terrifying choice to surrender our control and be willing to feel the pain of life, there seems to be an element of mysterious mercy at play when we entrust

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Finding An Anthem For Affliction

The first time I heard John Mark McMillan’s (now widely-known) song "How He Loves Us,” I was at the funeral of a high school friend who passed away in a car accident. I distinctly remember how the words confounded my mind but resonated somewhere within my heart all at once. Part of the chorus goes like this: He is jealous for me Love’s like a hurricane, I am a tree Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy After singing it through both seasons of heartache and celebration over the past decade, one line continues to stop me in my

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Listening to Your Lonely

Written by Melanie Rogers, MMFT, LPC-MHSP When asked what makes loneliness hard to admit, people of all ages often say that they believe loneliness means they are messed up, defective, a loser, friendless, or unlovable. This condemning voice that calls us names is what Dr. Chip Dodd calls the voice of toxic shame in his book, The Voice of the Heart. Rather than lead us to acknowledge our neediness, toxic shame entangles our hearts, tightly binding them up, leaving us unable to experience full life because we can’t experience our natural place. We believe we should hide who we are, and we center our lives

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The “Should’s” and “Supposed To’s”

Recently, a large poll was taken in which A.A. Milne’s Winnie the Pooh ranked number one for the most beloved children’s books of all time, even beating J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series. Milne created a brilliant and endearing narrative that all its readers and viewers get lost in, only to find ourselves identifying with the animals living deep in the Hundred Acre Wood. While some of us may relate more to Piglet’s anxiety than Pooh’s clumsiness, each of the characters lives within us. Though we are designed to express our feelings, majority of us have been taught the “should's” and

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