Tag Archives: couples counseling

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Navigating Seasons

One of my favorite definitions of marriage is “moving through life together”. This journey is really just moving through a series of phases or seasons. More often than not, these phases are laid overtop of one another and you may even be in many concentric phases at once. Just like a summer, autumn, winter, and spring, the seasons of your life will not have a distinct beginning or end but will blend and dissolve as you move from one to the next. As our seasons of lives change, marriage can become stressed. For couples who ignore, minimize, or resist this

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The One Word You Shouldn’t Say in Your Marriage

We could probably think of a few words you shouldn’t say in your marriage (most of them fall into the name-calling category…), but one psychologist is saying there’s an everyday verb that shouldn’t be uttered at all—and we just used a variation of it twice in one paragraph (this is going to be tough)! Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D. wrote an interesting article on why the word “should” needs to be immediately dropped from your vocab when communicating with your partner. Turns out, this word causes a controlling, judgmental dynamic and negative energy between couples. Read the full blog post on thenest.com.

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Redesign, renovate, or remodel?

Getting Your "Relationship House" in Order Sometimes it’s helpful to consider marriage like a home improvement show on HGTV. Over time, a marriage may need a fresh coat of paint and some new pillows, other times there is a lot more happening that needs more significant attention. When your relationship is struggling, you may simply need to focus on repair, but when the relational house is unstable more severe intervention is needed. Dr. John Gottman has spent his entire career trying to answer one question: What makes relationships work? There, are of course, hundreds of theories spanning hundreds of years that

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Resistance in Relationship (It doesn’t have to be futile)

Star Trek fans may remember the Borg and their motto, “Resistance is futile.” This idea has become a pop-culture symbol for any overwhelming oppositional force determined to keep us from our goals. We all have oppositional forces in our lives somewhere. More likely than not, however, they’re not as clear or as articulate as the Borg. Indeed, it’d be far easier to overcome the enemy that we could clearly see and name. In a relational context, the voice of resistance is far more subtle. It’s the fear of intimacy that keeps you from fully enjoying the other. It’s the lack of confidence (toxic

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