Tag Archives: marriage counseling

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Why Pre-Marital Counseling?

About 2.6 million couples will marry in the U.S. this year. About 45% of those couples will participate in pre-marriage counseling. Seems like a good idea. Some research suggests that couples who seek counseling before their wedding report a 30% higher marital success rate than those who did not. There are, of course, other factors that play into marital success. And pre-marriage counseling certainly isn’t a silver bullet. (Notably, less than 1% of couples that are considering re-marriage pursue pre-wedding therapy.) If, however, you’re considering therapy in advance of your wedding, it’s worth exploring the question of why. Here are

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Navigating Seasons

One of my favorite definitions of marriage is “moving through life together”. This journey is really just moving through a series of phases or seasons. More often than not, these phases are laid overtop of one another and you may even be in many concentric phases at once. Just like a summer, autumn, winter, and spring, the seasons of your life will not have a distinct beginning or end but will blend and dissolve as you move from one to the next. As our seasons of lives change, marriage can become stressed. For couples who ignore, minimize, or resist this

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Marriage at a 100-year low—and that’s a good thing

Brace yourselves for the latest evidence that Americans are fleeing the institution of marriage like Roger Sterling leaves wives. A report release Monday from Demographic Intelligence, which tracks marriage and birth trends in the United States, said marriage rates are the lowest in a century — 6.74 marriages per 1,000 people — and are projected to decline over the next decade. "Even though we have seen a modest recovery in the economy, the marriage rate continues to slowly decline," Demographic Intelligence president Sam Sturgeon says in the report. "A variety of factors — including sluggish job opportunities for the less

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A Happy Marriage Can Save Your Life (Says Science)

Happiness and health go hand-in-hand (and it's all thanks to your marriage) Healthy people aren’t just the happy ones—they’re now the ones committing to marriage. And if you thought that a significant other was more woe than it was worth, turns out you were painfully mistaken because a mate won’t just keep you happy; they’ll keep you living longer, too. In a study sure to tug at every inch of your heartstrings until they’re shredded to bits (because it’s that sweet), a team of researchers at the Harvard Radiation Oncology Program found that married cancer patients live longer than singles

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Redesign, renovate, or remodel?

Getting Your "Relationship House" in Order Sometimes it’s helpful to consider marriage like a home improvement show on HGTV. Over time, a marriage may need a fresh coat of paint and some new pillows, other times there is a lot more happening that needs more significant attention. When your relationship is struggling, you may simply need to focus on repair, but when the relational house is unstable more severe intervention is needed. Dr. John Gottman has spent his entire career trying to answer one question: What makes relationships work? There, are of course, hundreds of theories spanning hundreds of years that

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Resistance in Relationship (It doesn’t have to be futile)

Star Trek fans may remember the Borg and their motto, “Resistance is futile.” This idea has become a pop-culture symbol for any overwhelming oppositional force determined to keep us from our goals. We all have oppositional forces in our lives somewhere. More likely than not, however, they’re not as clear or as articulate as the Borg. Indeed, it’d be far easier to overcome the enemy that we could clearly see and name. In a relational context, the voice of resistance is far more subtle. It’s the fear of intimacy that keeps you from fully enjoying the other. It’s the lack of confidence (toxic

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