The Current

Helping you navigate through life

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Letting Go and Holding On

I work with a lot of people around the dynamics of transition, whether it be vocational, relational, or spiritual. My deep sense is we are constantly in some state of transition, even on a micro-level, like the transition from breath to breath. So when I consider transition, I am always looking for the ways in which I am attached to something or someone, or even attached to an idea. These are hard to let go of when we know them well or when they provide a sense of security. I watched the film Toy Story 3 again recently. The premise of

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The Practice of Saying No

My good friend refers to me as a “foodie” but not in the traditional sense that I really love good, trendy restaurants, trying experimental flavors and unusual menu items. Nope. We both know it’s code for “picky eater that will eat at one of six places in town if you’d like share a meal with her.” I feel so known when she playfully calls me a “foodie” because I’ve been honest with her about my story with food, eating out, food sensitivities, and plain old preferences. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact

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Learning to Fail

There is no doubt that our culture is bent on the pursuit of success; we see it everywhere. In turn, the idea of failure is one that we expend a lot of focus and energy avoiding and helping others avoid, especially our children.     In my First-Year Seminar course for new college freshman, we spend an entire class exploring “Failure” in order to expand our understanding about what it really is, and why we’re really afraid of it — why have we been taught to avoid something that’s likely inevitable, even helpful? A number of the sources we examine

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A Different Depression

I used to believe that depression meant lying in bed all day with the covers pulled over my head. Or not going out with friends or smiling during a funny movie scene. Over time, I have come to the realization that depression is more a suppression of feelings. It can look like trying to hold it all in. It becomes more of a stature of trying to hold in your heart. Saying things like “I can do it,” or “No thanks, I don’t need any help.” Slowly, the weight of depression can push down my desires  and make me believe

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Marriage: More than You Bargained For

This is based on a homily I recently delivered at my friends’ wedding. There’s a lot here to reflect on about marriage, how it changes us, and what it calls us to become. The Judeo-Christian marriage is much more than a legal union. It’s a spiritual joining that, in it’s very nature, is designed to change people—mature them. It is so central to the spiritual DNA of life that it’s one of the major themes in the creation story. Genesis, Chapter 2, is the first narrative story in both the Hebrew Torah and Christian Pentateuch, and it sets the framework

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What does it mean to dream?

We are created to dream big. The moment we dream, we open ourselves up to feeling, desiring, aching, grieving, suffering, and celebrating. To dream means to be fully alive in a beautiful and tragic world. It means that we are willing to reach outside of ourselves, fully aware that we may not grasp what we long for. Part of the therapy process involves unearthing dreams that have been lost to trauma, addiction, depression, and anxiety. However, when we face the story of our life and begin to heal, we can risk dreaming again. I have spent a big portion of

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Music and Melancholy

As one who is all too familiar with the realities and exhausting effects of depression, I find myself looking for ways to describe it in a more tangible way to myself and the people in my life. The difficulty is that, unlike other infirmities, you cannot see depression like you can see a flesh wound or a broken leg or even a terminal illness. As Parker Palmer (one who has experienced multiple personal bouts with depression) writes in his book, Let Your Life Speak, “I still find depression difficult to speak about because the experience is so unspeakable.” While there

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Getting to the Root of Depression

In my experience, depression has had two opposing effects: it protected me from feeling deep pain but, at the same time, robbed me of relationships and healing. Thirty-eight years ago today, my life was changed forever. What should have been a time of joy and celebration turned into sadness, despair, and a journey into depression. My two infant twin sons were born too early to survive. All the things that I had learned through my childhood about faith and never doubting God's plan began to fade. How could something that I thought was in God's plan go so terribly wrong?

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5 Ways to Engage Your Partner

Are you familiar with the song “Will You Be There” by Michael Jackson? If you have ever seen the movie Free Willy, it is the epic ballad playing as Willy traverses the wall that has held him captive for his entire life, singing him into the sweet freedom that the ocean holds. If you have never heard this song, I must request that you stop reading, open up your music streaming app of choice, and listen to it instantly. In its most epic moment, this song begs the question, “Will you show to me you’ll be there for me and

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11 Things You Don’t Want In a Therapist

Picking the right therapist for your specific concerns can feel daunting. This list is designed to help you assess your therapy experience and feel more confident in who you choose to move forward this. While counselors are humans and make mistakes all the time, there are some people who practice as therapists who aren't professionally prepared or emotionally ready to be in the role. Here are some helpful indicators for assessing whether or not a therapist is a good a fit for you or not: They felt more like a friend than a professional. While it’s important to have a

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