Posts by Sage Hill

Helping you navigate through life

Subscribe

The Practice of Saying No

My good friend refers to me as a “foodie” but not in the traditional sense that I really love good, trendy restaurants, trying experimental flavors and unusual menu items. Nope. We both know it’s code for “picky eater that will eat at one of six places in town if you’d like share a meal with her.” I feel so known when she playfully calls me a “foodie” because I’ve been honest with her about my story with food, eating out, food sensitivities, and plain old preferences. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact

Continue reading...

Finding God in Your Loneliness

What if the questions we ask around our faith and spirituality are making us more lonely, more afraid, and more isolated? Our questions have become formulas… How can I do more of this (prayer, bible studies, quiet times) to add more of this (peace, joy, love) and subtract all of this (shame, rejection, and fear of abandonment)? We have become a culture fixated on finding the the answer that will get us out of our pain and out of facing the story of our life. When I’m told to pray more or have more faith as an answer to my

Continue reading...

Dealing with Difficult People

While a bear from the wild may be captured to live in a zoo or trained to ride a bike in the circus, for the most part, wild bears do what wild bears do.   Several years ago, while trying to emphasize a point about how to deal with difficult people, I began to pick on bears. I could have easily picked on some other animal, but bears are an easy target. We’ve all heard horrible stories here and there about a bear somewhere attacking an innocent hiker. More frequently, we hear stories of a bear entering a campground and

Continue reading...

When Putting On Weight is a Good Thing

If you have been in a Sage Hill Counseling office in the past year, you may have noticed a chunky blanket draped over a couch or chair. These quirkily shaped blankets are stuffed with heavy beads in varying weights. You may be wondering why a counseling center has heavy blankets in each office. The concept definitely sounds strange until the science behind weighted blanket therapy is explained. Weighted blankets are a tool that helps people in several ways, both in and out of the counseling office. Physiologically, weighted blankets work similarly to a deep tissue massage. The pressure of the blanket

Continue reading...

4 Do’s to Do Dating Right — Clearing Up the Confusion About Dating

How does dating work? How do people go from being strangers to committing their lives to each other?  Forty years ago, there was more structure to dating: a couple got to know each other, then decided to date each other exclusively, there may have been a promise ring, then an engagement ring, and then marriage. During this time period, there were markers for how a relationship was supposed to develop. Times have certainly changed. We now live in an age when there are no set rules and guidelines for dating. It is now more important than ever when dating to know

Continue reading...

Unfreezing Trauma

Things happen in life sometimes that we cannot explain or anticipate. When these events are painful, it's hard to let them go. Maybe you've said this before: "If I only would have known." "WHY?" "Wait, what happened?" "How did I not see this coming?" "This cannot be happening." When something out of the ordinary occurs it feels like a tsunami hits us and we become flooded. The flood in our heads caused by overwhelming events becomes frozen in our brains. Trauma begins an ice age in our brains. In order to begin melting the ice within, these scary events need to

Continue reading...

Anxiety is quite the Storyteller

Anxiety sucks. Not many will argue with that. Because of how scary anxiety is, it's hard to believe it is anything other than something to avoid. But beyond its very real terror, anxiety is trying to tell us something important. Anxiety is an internal storyteller who believes its story is so important that its chosen genre is horror. Scary stories are hard not to listen to. Anxiety does this to get our attention—scary stories work. Anxiety is our internal storyteller who tries to keep us afraid of life in order to keep us safe. But there is another storyteller in us

Continue reading...

Drugs and Talk Therapy Affect the Brain in Different Ways

Psychiatric drugs and psychotherapy mostly have the same purpose: to make us feel better mentally and emotionally. However, it seems like common sense to assume that they do so by very different means, the former acting chemically on your brain and the latter altering your mind and thoughts. Yet if you ponder this some more and consider that our brains are our minds — after all, every lived thought and feeling has its basis in the brain — it follows that if you spend time on the therapist’s proverbial couch, any benefit will ultimately register not only in changes to how you think,

Continue reading...

Facing Burnout

Many professionals operate under constant stress and end up becoming disillusioned, practicing hopelessness, and physically and emotionally exhausted—especially if we work helping people. Sadly for professionals, when things get hard the only thing we know to do is work harder. When this happens we can become burned out and grow apathetic, discouraged, and/or full of rage. The despair and isolation that follows burnout can threaten our jobs, our relationships, and our health. While finding and maintaining balance is a futile and a pointless exercise, we can learn to make our choices with greater integrity. When professionals' hearts become impaired through

Continue reading...

Better Off Dad: The Biological Changes of Fatherhood

A man walks down the street with his wife, who is pregnant with the couple’s first child. With no kids, he has existed until now in his own orbit and paid little attention to the offspring of others. He notices a woman with a baby and the moment causes him some consternation — he feels very little for the child and worries that perhaps he lacks the empathy to be a dad. Are certain men, he wonders, hardwired to respond better to infants than others? Pregnancy and parenting research has disproportionally favoured mothers, for obvious reasons, but there is a

Continue reading...