Category Archives: Marriage

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Redesign, renovate, or remodel?

Getting Your "Relationship House" in Order Sometimes it’s helpful to consider marriage like a home improvement show on HGTV. Over time, a marriage may need a fresh coat of paint and some new pillows, other times there is a lot more happening that needs more significant attention. When your relationship is struggling, you may simply need to focus on repair, but when the relational house is unstable more severe intervention is needed. Dr. John Gottman has spent his entire career trying to answer one question: What makes relationships work? There, are of course, hundreds of theories spanning hundreds of years that

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Resistance in Relationship (It doesn’t have to be futile)

Star Trek fans may remember the Borg and their motto, “Resistance is futile.” This idea has become a pop-culture symbol for any overwhelming oppositional force determined to keep us from our goals. We all have oppositional forces in our lives somewhere. More likely than not, however, they’re not as clear or as articulate as the Borg. Indeed, it’d be far easier to overcome the enemy that we could clearly see and name. In a relational context, the voice of resistance is far more subtle. It’s the fear of intimacy that keeps you from fully enjoying the other. It’s the lack of confidence (toxic

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