Tag Archives: boundaries

Helping you navigate through life


Boundaries Start with Me

Boundaries in relationships are the markers that help differentiate you from someone else, or communicate where you “begin” and “end.” Using an analogy of land ownership with fences and gates, boundaries are the fences around your land. Gates are the passageways that allow others onto your land. You control the gates on your land. If anyone comes onto your land in any fashion except through the gates, without your permission, they are trespassing. Boundaries in relationships are the markers that help communicate where you “begin” and “end.”     You are responsible for your own fences that mark your land, and you are

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The Practice of Saying No

My good friend refers to me as a “foodie” but not in the traditional sense that I really love good, trendy restaurants, trying experimental flavors and unusual menu items. Nope. We both know it’s code for “picky eater that will eat at one of six places in town if you’d like share a meal with her.” I feel so known when she playfully calls me a “foodie” because I’ve been honest with her about my story with food, eating out, food sensitivities, and plain old preferences. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact

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Are You Taking On Too Many Roles?

Every year when August hits, and the air (supposedly) cools off, my Saturday mornings typically begin with coffee in hand and ESPN Gameday on the TV — I am getting geared up to watch my Auburn Tigers play later on. In the past few years, I’ve noticed a segment on ESPN Gameday called “You Had One Job.” While this is mostly a way for the commentators to shame young 18-22 year old athletes, I’ve found myself joining in on the laughter and accusations of, “Come on! You blew it! You really did only have one job!” However, last week it

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What are You Making Room For?

An Invitation to a Contemplative Approach to Your Internal Spaces by Kate Hughes Walls, doors, and windows are functional boundaries that are part of most rooms. These three structures help create starts and stops, beginnings and endings, comings and goings in the spaces we dwell. Psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually, we are all similar. Internally, our walls, windows, and doors are the very things that allow us to listen, know, and share our selves by both granting access to the outside world and a way to close ourselves in for rest. When we do not take ownership of our space by

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4 Do’s to Do Dating Right — Clearing Up the Confusion About Dating

How does dating work? How do people go from being strangers to committing their lives to each other?  Forty years ago, there was more structure to dating: a couple got to know each other, then decided to date each other exclusively, there may have been a promise ring, then an engagement ring, and then marriage. During this time period, there were markers for how a relationship was supposed to develop. Times have certainly changed. We now live in an age when there are no set rules and guidelines for dating. It is now more important than ever when dating to know

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Boundaries, please.

From the minute we started walking and talking, we needed boundaries. They helped us feel safe and let us know what is acceptable and what is not. As children, we depended on these external parameters that came from attentive, caring adults. We learned how to differentiate between things like safe / unsafe , you / me, and mine / yours. It’s within the context of these loving boundaries that the bond grows between our little selves and our caregivers. Somewhere along the way for all of us, boundaries grew more and more unclear. As we got older, our external parameters

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