Tag Archives: intimacy

Helping you navigate through life


Marriage: More than You Bargained For

This is based on a homily I recently delivered at my friends’ wedding. There’s a lot here to reflect on about marriage, how it changes us, and what it calls us to become. The Judeo-Christian marriage is much more than a legal union. It’s a spiritual joining that, in it’s very nature, is designed to change people—mature them. It is so central to the spiritual DNA of life that it’s one of the major themes in the creation story. Genesis, Chapter 2, is the first narrative story in both the Hebrew Torah and Christian Pentateuch, and it sets the framework

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6 Things the Happiest Families All Have in Common

Family life is hectic. Most of us play it by ear and hope it works out well. Or maybe you haven't started a family yet but when you do you want to do it right. Aren't there some legit answers out there about what creates the happiest families? Yes, there are. Read the full article on theweek.com.

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Redesign, renovate, or remodel?

Getting Your "Relationship House" in Order Sometimes it’s helpful to consider marriage like a home improvement show on HGTV. Over time, a marriage may need a fresh coat of paint and some new pillows, other times there is a lot more happening that needs more significant attention. When your relationship is struggling, you may simply need to focus on repair, but when the relational house is unstable more severe intervention is needed. Dr. John Gottman has spent his entire career trying to answer one question: What makes relationships work? There, are of course, hundreds of theories spanning hundreds of years that

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Resistance in Relationship (It doesn’t have to be futile)

Star Trek fans may remember the Borg and their motto, “Resistance is futile.” This idea has become a pop-culture symbol for any overwhelming oppositional force determined to keep us from our goals. We all have oppositional forces in our lives somewhere. More likely than not, however, they’re not as clear or as articulate as the Borg. Indeed, it’d be far easier to overcome the enemy that we could clearly see and name. In a relational context, the voice of resistance is far more subtle. It’s the fear of intimacy that keeps you from fully enjoying the other. It’s the lack of confidence (toxic

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Boundaries, please.

From the minute we started walking and talking, we needed boundaries. They helped us feel safe and let us know what is acceptable and what is not. As children, we depended on these external parameters that came from attentive, caring adults. We learned how to differentiate between things like safe / unsafe , you / me, and mine / yours. It’s within the context of these loving boundaries that the bond grows between our little selves and our caregivers. Somewhere along the way for all of us, boundaries grew more and more unclear. As we got older, our external parameters

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